Coping. We all do it differently. Some of us turn to comfort food, some of us drink away the pain, and some of us shop. This was always me. While I surely enjoy a tub of ice cream and a bottle of wine (okay, who am I trying to kid – 7 bottles of wine), shopping has always been the most therapeutic to me. Something about walking into a store, starting on the left, (because when you have to choose the left is always better – right Elliot!?!) and slowly making my way around the store being sure to touch everything in hopes that the touch of one of these items will be the spark that moves me. 

You can think I am crazy now, but the touch of my clothing means something – I mean, who wants to be stuck in some itchy fabric all day? When shopping therapeutically you are looking for something that feels comfortable, but that doesn’t mean I want something big, oversized and ugly! When you feel it, you will know. We use that saying a lot in life, about careers, about homes, about love. And I use it now, about finding a piece of clothing that will make the difference is my otherwise dreary day.

I can remember when it started. I had to be around ten. I had somehow ended up at a modeling agency through the recommendation of a friend, and while modeling was never something I was truly passionate about for my life, I went anyway. And when I was turned away, you would have thought it was my passion. Clearly upset, my mother (being the amazing woman she is) decided home was not our next destination and to the store we went. As I perused the racks, dragging my hands over the garments, I landed on one – a skirt and legging combo. Come on I was ten! It was popular then, maybe not so popular that I should have worn them as often as I did, but besides that, after a quick trip to the fitting room, mom and I were out the doors, a smile on my face and thus shopping became my coping strategy. I can also remember the first big break up in my life – of course I was in high school and of course it was the end of the world as I knew it! I can’t remember exactly what age, but I do remember it was Christmas. I had already purchased, wrapped and placed all of his presents under the tree. It wasn’t so much fun opening them back up, but it sure was fun returning them to the store and buying a fabulous new pair of jeans, and a great new top to brighten my mood. Funny enough this happened again a few years later, I had purchased a gift from an online store and when I called to get a return authorization number for the item, the associate asks me, “And why is it you want to return this?” My response, “We broke up,” and to my surprise she goes, “Honey, that is not the first time I have heard that one – go buy yourself something nice.” And that is when I acquired my first pairs of designer sunglasses. There was something liberating about taking the money I earned to spend on someone I thought cared about me and buying myself something pretty! I still have a pair of earrings purchased when I realized I had made the wrong choice in college. The glitter heart heels I got when I didn’t win a competition – they were so Elle Woods in Legally Blonde – the original of course.

Finding these items might not have solved my issues, and I am not saying that a material thing will do that, but for me, it brought a smile to my face. And now years later, these items serve as reminders of lessons learned. Not that I am not going to make the same mistake again, but at least I know there will be a store waiting for me filled with things that will at least bring a smile to my face.